By Rookie, AllHabs.net
MONTREAL, QC. — We’ve all heard it before. Trade rumours abound at this time of year and they are just hogwash, usually made up by someone with a wild imagination or too much time on their hands. I’m not saying I have very much spare time, but I thought I would try making up some rumours at random. I scribbled down a few possible and less-than-possible people on the trading block and put all of those names in a hat. I don’t have a spinning wheel of trades and my carpentry skills aren’t the greatest, so these slips of paper will have to do.
First up: The New York Rangers trade Brandon Dubinsky for Sergei Gonchar and a fourth-round pick from Ottawa
I’m still not sure that the Rangers need to be making any major moves – they’ve had a great season and they won’t have to squeak their way into the playoffs. But, in any case, a draft pick would only help New York increase its depth.
Jonathan Bernier traded to Montreal for Travis Moen
Well, that makes no sense at all. Bernier has the talent and the desire to be a starting goaltender, and no one can take Carey Price’s crown from him, not even a homegrown talent. Moen’s injury won’t be of any immediate help to Los Angeles. This was not the Wheel of Paper Slips’ best work. Let’s try again.
James van Riemsdyk and a year’s supply of Philly cheese steaks for 4 years’ worth of second-round draft picks from Toronto
Brian Burke would probably get all hungry with all the wheeling and dealing he does, and I’ll just guess that he’s not much of a cook. Philadelphia is getting younger and more energetic, and a bigger presence at the draft would help that even more.
Columbus trades Jeff Carter for any of Los Angeles’ finest restaurants
I’ve been hearing that the Kings actually have an interest in Rick Nash, not Carter, but they wouldn’t have to give up any hockey assets, which would be a welcome change from last year’s transactions. There would probably be a very angry celebrity chef somewhere on a plane between California and Ohio, but the good people of Columbus and their stomachs surely wouldn’t miss Jeff Carter as soon as dinner was served.
Los Angeles trades Dustin Penner for Luke Schenn
The Kings gave up Schenn’s little brother to get Dustin Penner. I guess they regret that. Luckily Toronto didn’t trade any restaurants to acquire Penner, so he has his pick of any cuisine he’d like.